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How I became an Observer
I have practiced Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, Taoism, Shamanism, Native and Indigenous Wisdoms. I have researched auras, chakras, lucid dreaming, meditation, parapsychology and quantum physics.
Although the foregoing is not a complete list of my pursuits yet it should give insight to part of my journey. I always seem to be looking for what appears to be unanswerable. I have been challenged through my journey with anxiety, depression, and addiction. The question ‘WHY’ became too enormous and I became overwhelmed.
Then I came across my realization. I sensed there was part of me that was my ‘Authentic Self’. Yes, there are many views on the authentic self, the truth within, the person you were meant to be, and no end to information about the ‘right’ path. I found I could not control the many thousands upon thousands of thoughts that raced through my mind. Most of those thoughts I saw as detrimental to my well being and progress. Then I realized that the majority of these thoughts were created by what I was taught. Concepts such as beautiful versus ugly, right from wrong, strong versus weak, like from dislike, and good versus bad are, in my opinion, essentially taught to us. These concepts will also be influenced by gender, parentage, age, ethnicity, cultural heritage, and geographical location to name a few. I needed to unlearn what I had been taught. A small example; you see someone unshaven, straggly hair, no socks with dress shoes, ass crack showing, overweight how do you react? I know how I do and I need to bring my ‘higher self’ into play in order not to judge them. How to unlearn?
Wait a minute. Bring my ‘higher self’ into play? Was that my ‘Authentic Self’ I was looking for? While all these thoughts and judgments were being played out, who was watching? Who saw these thoughts as flawed? Who was it that saw the majority of my ‘Monkey Mind’ as being thousands upon thousands of thoughts that were detrimental to my well being and progress? Just maybe it was my ‘Authentic Self’.
So I became the Observer. Now when thoughts that are detrimental to my well being arise I acknowledge them as not belonging to my ‘Authentic Self’ but rather my ‘Human Self’. The human self has been brainwashed beyond belief, through generational beliefs, political beliefs, and most importantly all forms of media, just to name a few. My human self is important in many ways. It keeps me from putting my hand in a flame for extended periods of time. It provides decisions on matters that I have not yet had time to explore.
I really like my Authentic Self. It is kind, compassionate, and altruistic. I do not dislike my human self for I see its purpose. I find myself appreciating the totality of who I am. I don’t believe it is about controlling the mind but rather understanding. Every thought you have someone is observing. You have already found that someone and that someone is a wonderful you.
Dayvid, July 2018
July 25
Language has always intrigued me. For me, it is the English language. However, I am confident that my observations are applicable to other languages. Language is taught to children in order that they may communicate with us. To me, there is much more to it. As we teach language we are also defining that child’s world. In order for the child to understand the word, we put it into context for them. This flower is pretty, this weed is not. We feed them baby food at first. We give them strained carrots and repeat to them ‘mmmm’, ‘this is good’, ‘yummy’, and ‘You will love this’. Guess what? They love carrots. If you feed them strained spinach and they immediately spit it out and make a funny face you laugh and laugh. Now maybe next time they might like strained spinach, yet due to the positive feedback, you gave them they will continue to spit it out and make funny faces. Guess what they don’t love spinach.
You teach them the word ‘Beautiful’. They overhear you seeing some perfect 10 and you say, “She/He is beautiful. Now a 10 to us is one thing. A 10 in other cultures/ethnicities might be very different. In Polynesian areas, I understand that a four hundred pound man is really a 10. The point I am trying to make is that not only are we teaching our children to communicate but we are also defining their world. We are teaching them beauty, love, pleasantness, other esoteric concepts, and biases according to your culture and your viewpoint on life. Different people will have differing levels of influence on the child.
It seems that we carry these teachings throughout our lives. Yes, some like spinach when they grow older but they had to unlearn what they were taught. An inconsequential thing yet what other teachings lie deeper within us. For the most part, our worldview has been taught from an external source. It is time to unlearn everything we have been taught. Every thought, action, or reaction I question as to ‘Who taught me that?’ Search within to replace that knowledge which is the true you not someone else’s interpretation of this journey. That quiet voice of wisdom that is your soul.
Namaste, Dayvid
June 30
We are letting our Children slip away. We no longer seem to tell them stories with morals or lessons. We don't tell them fairy tales and simple stories of wonder. We don't sit with them in the forest and explain how trees talk. We seem to have lost the art of being while we are buried in living. Let the Children see the Child in you.
Namaste, Dayvid
July 23
Don´t be unnecessarily burdened by the past. Go on closing the chapters that you have read; there is no need to go back again and again. And never judge anything of the past from the new perspective that is arriving, because the new is new, incomparably new and the old was right in its own context, and the new is right in its own context, and they are incomparable.
What many are currently experiencing is the Universe giving them a kick in the arse! You are identifying a pathway you believe you want to pursue because your soul is telling you it is right. I caution you though this path you are choosing to embark on is very difficult. Without exaggerating it will prove more challenging than anything you have previously been through. I know what you have been through. Trust me it pales in comparison. The Universe will challenge everything you have learned and believe. At times it will seem like you are losing your touch on reality, keeping in mind you were taught your present reality. At times you will question your mental health.
One must unlearn everything we have been taught. Constantly ask yourself, the thoughts you think, the words you utter, and the behaviors you exhibit, who taught me that. There is a voice within that you will come to know as your truth. You feel as if you are in a battle of minds, the true mind and the ego. The ego contains all that we have been taught. The courage required to turn your back on everything that you currently perceive as real is enormous. Your progress is not measured in leaps and bounds but rather baby steps moving forward each day. And there will be days when you feel like you have gone one step forward and ten steps back. You will question why you cannot return to that connectedness yet, just remember it is there waiting for you.
Every bit of information we receive from any source must be applied to the concept of critical thinking and our own internal lie detector. Do not attach yourself to any one way of thinking. It may change tomorrow. For this evening my thoughts are with you for I see your heart. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid
July 29
I humbly knock upon the door of the dream realm. A quiet voice intones, “Welcome dear one. Enter with an open heart and an open mind.” I sense it is time for a new adventure, to learn a new language, to hear the stories of my dreams. My soul fills knowing that this wondrous voyage will never end. It is both serene and exciting at the same time. I will let go of the outcome not trying to control. I will let the Divine guide my steps. Yes, I will falter, yet will not chastise myself for my stumbles. I will arise each time and learn to love myself more. My wish for you is an open heart and an open mind. As a wheel has many spokes please know they all lead to the center. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid
July 28
The day draws to a close. Father Sky paints with the colours of the wind in soft pastels. It signals the time of release and a time to gentle down. The worries of the day fade away as I remember the kindness given and received. This energy I release to my Family and Friends. Go softly into the night my fellow Seekers know you are welcome. Sleep well, Dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid
July 24
The end of a long hot day as Grand Father Sun drew the aroma of sweet grass from newly cut hayfields. Grand Mother Moon is nearing her fullness, yet she hides her face behind the clouds. I know she is there. Her light so powerful the crystals sing. She tells of fullness to come and bids us enter her realm. Grand Mother prompts us to leave every care and worry at the entryway. ‘Wipe your feet before you come in.’ For now is the time to lay your head and journey into a peaceful night. There to recharge and restore your power. May you awaken and continue your voyage not quite knowing where you are going but completely confident you are on the right path. As you rest upon your bed, stay the other thoughts, embrace your heart and listen for the crystals’ song. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid.
July 22
I drift into the transition from the clay world. Listening to my heart beat I hear the whispers of the Elders. “Come with us wind walker, come and listen to our stories of old. We will help you remember who you are. We will help you wash away everything you have learned at mortal hands. The beat of my heart melds with the deep vibration of the original drums. Coursing through it fills me with a vibrancy of returning home again. We are all just walking each other home. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends. Humble bow, Dayvid. Dayvid Bruce Clarkson
July 21 at 9:55 PM · Grand Father Sun has gone to rest. Sweet Grand Mother Moon takes over the brood. She shines her light to reveal the stars. At the end of the day, I like to Dusk Walk. A state between awake and dream. I wander the sky; imagine the star patterns connecting the path toward my lessons. It is a most pleasant time, drifting in and out, swaying to the Divine rhythm. I listen to my heart as to an ancient drum leading me forward until I peacefully great my Elders for another class. I am eternally grateful for every moment, every bit of serendipity, that gives my journey a magical synchronicity. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid.
July 5
Reflecting on the day. I was planting some trees, that will eventually become bonsai, and as I was filling around them with soil I recalled what a pain it was with the water running over the edges when watering. This creates dirt around the rims which need to be cleaned off. I usually have to water twice as most of the water runs off. Then the light went on. Why not put less dirt in the pots creating a natural well. Well, ain’t that smart Sparky? It sounds pretty simple. What I realized is that I have been container gardening for a very long time and suffered through the overflowing pots the same amount of time. This is not earth shattering but after all these years, and presently being mindful, this simple concept was a eureka moment. All these years I have been laying the foundation upon which to grow. At my age knowing that I can learn simple things that bring about simple joys I just have to wonder what the next day holds for me. Pay attention, be amazed, and tell about it. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid
July 3
Somedays you just need a mental health day. I chose today to put the Empath back in his cage along with all the drama. I went downtown and stepped out of my comfort zone and had a chicken, brie, and pear panni with a real mango smoothie at a local café with sidewalk sitting. I cannot remember having such a delicious sandwich, not something I would normally order. The real mango smoothie was a first for me as well. This smoothie is a keeper with such deep flavour. Afterwards, I took a stroll down to the waterfront and had a maple walnut waffle cone while people watching and conversing with the seagulls. I was full of gratitude and disbelief that I am so fortunate. Yes, the Empath reared his head and I felt some guilt that I had what most don’t have. It re-enforced my commitment to share as much as I am able. The best way to share is with acts of kindness and compassion. It is absolutely okay to enjoy your bounty in a mindful way. As the day wraps me in the warmth of time well spent I will retire to the dream scape. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid.
July 1
The windsong carried me along this eve. Grand Mother Moon gently chided me to wash behind my ears so I could hear the silence. The sound between the whispers quickened my heart. A sense of accomplishment filled my soul. Yet I don’t know what I accomplished. I pause and quietly look around trying to see what is not there. I talk in riddles to myself; yet I know, surely I know. Surely I know. The mist draws about me and I am ready. It is time, it is time. I shall venture forth to see the new day but take time with the night. For at this time and in this place a peace shall surround me and I will share with all. This is our time. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid
June 11
Today there were feelings of humility leading to a great sense of gratitude. I took time to pay attention to these strong feelings. What wonder and what confirmation. I am blessed to be able to have a ringside seat. As you retire this eve please look to the skye. Look to all that you have and all that surrounds you. It is a miracle and you are the cause. Thank you … Off now to whisper secrets with Grand Mother Moon. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid
June 9
I reflect on the events that will vanish with the day. As well, any sadness or regret, in my sleep will fade away. The day is past and I savor every moment. The time is endless yet we will always collect these precious understandings, safe in the knowledge we are learning to be. Returning to our authentic selves is not an easy journey nevertheless our Spirit innately knows the way home. Have many Teachers, yet be the disciple of none. Your heart is pure and you will be guided. Sleep well, dream deep my Friends.
Humble bow, Dayvid.
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