Everyone is carrying something. And y’all the last several days, I’ve been carrying a strong-willed, independent, 3-year old with my younger self’s personality and all I can say is my prayers have been “Lord, I know this is my fault. I prayed for a daughter who was just like me but happy. And you gave me that. And I know my momma is up there laughing her head off at me but would you put some calm and some chill in this child because I’m about to lose my… well you know.”
And it’s been hard. Everything has been a battle. My baby is super clingy and frankly most days even daddy won’t do. My 3-year-old thinks every single thing out of my mouth is a battle of wills and a test of who is in charge. Add it to everything else that’s going on right now in my little microcosm for the past several weeks - the good and the bad - and it’s freaking exhausting.
I love the saying “This too shall pass.” And yes it will. There is comfort in knowing that this current discomfort will pass. But I think when we hear that we sometimes think… and then everything will be rosy and ok. That’s not life.
Every stage has its own unique hard. Being single - hard. Being married - hard. No kids - ok maybe THAT one’s not hard but if you want kids it is. Newborn - hard. Toddler - hard. School-aged - hard. Teenagers - certifiably hard as hell. SAHM - so dang hard. Working mom - equally freaking hard. It’s all hard.
It’s just different.
And on days like these last weeks, while I do remind myself, yes this too shall pass, I also remind myself to find the joy even in this messy, crazy and often LOUD (on both our parts) difficult time. That this will transition into a new but different hard.
Instead of focusing on the trying aspects, I force myself to find the good, the joy, the moments that make the hard oh so worth it. Because in the end, this will pass and I won’t be able to capture those moments again. She’s only going to be 3 once. He’s only gonna be a baby once. And when it’s done, I will wish I still had it, despite the hard.
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