By Judith Kroll
We might feel we could have been a better parent. We might think of specifics where we were less than honorable to our children.
Maybe we suffered a divorce, and we think, maybe if I did this or that? We continually visit the not so pretty trenches of our childhood at times as well.
We all let ourselves be haunted by the past at one time or another. If we dwell on could of, would of, and should of’s, we can make ourselves very unhappy. We all have pasts, and we all wish we could go back and change some events or ways we have acted or how we handled a situation in the past. What is interesting is that we constantly gauge our past with our newly evolved selves. We all grow emotionally, and we judge our past selves, by our new thinking.
Let me illustrate. When raising our children we tend to look back and say, “If I wouldn’t have done this, or if I wouldn’t have said that, my child wouldn’t have felt so bad at that time.” We must consider who we were back then, and who we are now. Chances are we did the best we could at the time, with what we knew, and what our circumstances were.
Everyone is different now, that is one reason we treat our grandchildren differently than we did our own children. Our perspectives are always changing. If we dwell in the past with our newer versions of ourselves, then we are just making ourselves miserable. We have to let it go.
Talking with someone helps. Just letting it loose from our hearts by sharing the details as we remember it to a dear soul who is committed to listening can be helpful. One of the simplest ways to let go of anything that is a burden to us, anything that is stopping us from moving forward in life, is to let it go. How do we do that?
Remember the old movies where the sound of the bugle meant the Calvary was on the way to rescue those in need?
We have our own Calvary. The vast unseen helpers in the universe like our Angels, Guides, and our family and friends who have passed before us. They help us. Just ask them to take away the pain we keep dredging up from our past. Thank them for taking it away. I have done this, others I know have as well, and it truly works.
Marianne Williamson shared her quote that fits in this situation. “We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” So when a hurtful thought arises turn your attention to the present. Think about the flowers in your yard, the smile of your loved one, the love of the universe, and your life will joyful.
Remember that if we dwell in the past, we miss the present, and then that will once again make for a miserable past.