Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Honey Dog Tales - 6

 By Walt Perryman

Honey Dog Tales - Six

By Honey Dog

Honey speaks about family reunions.

Well my canine friends it has been an experience, a family reunion in Luckenbach, I have never witnessed anything like it. Tall ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, and old and new ones. If they could only see their selves like us dogs see them from the ground, HE!! HE!!! What a sight, People throwing horseshoes at each other. After a case or two of beer the horseshoes were going everywhere, in the trees, in the street. I stayed under the pick-up while they had these battles. You ought to hear some of the conservations, man o man!! I never heard such bragging and lying.

There was some good food though. Family reunions are pushovers for a dog like me. Wow, I must have gained a few pounds. And my master the jerk, probably gained 5 lbs. He was on his best behavior I think because of his Aunts. I wish they could see him like I see him the rest of the time, except when there is a reunion. The bailing wire, duct tape, fat poet. Yep, the goody, goody, two-bit jerk plays the part. Well that is the last reunion for a while, thank goodness. My master is not up to another one and I am not either. Take care my canine friends, can you all imagine a dog reunion, I wonder how many kin we have? Arf!! Arf!!!

Honey Dog Memoirs for all canines

Well! Here we go again; my not so bright Master has come up with another brilliant idea. We were out at Luckenbach the other day, when Einstein here, sees a little skinny poodle in a carrying pouch around some one’s neck. My fellow dogs, he went berserk. Now, he has gone and got one for me, yep, for 26 pound me. I know it said on the pouch Max 18lbs. We just spent the last 30 minutes with Einstein, here trying to stuff my fat dog rear end into that little pouch.

Mercy, all because of that skinny little cute, probably 6-pound little hussy peeking her cute little head out of that woman’s bosom. I know if he ever stuffs me in there, he will have to take me to, “Luckenbach” to show off, that is if he can walk with me around his neck, which I doubt. Well, my fellow canines wish the best for me it is not going to be pretty. Hopefully, he will give up on the idea, I doubt it though. Dag, Dog piece of taste like bacon Luckenbach moron of a story telling, beer drinking, duct tape Master. Arf!! Arf!!

(To Be Continued. See Me Next Issue.)
©2010 Honey Dog
with Secretarial Assistant and Master Walt Perryman

Click on author's byline for bio and list of other works published by Pencil Stubs Online.

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