By Thomas F. O'Neill
May 2026
A Cultural Bridge Toward Deeper Understanding
I am now teaching an online University class on Cultural Diversity, and my students are from various Asian countries. Some of them, but not all, have taken an interest in the clash between Republicans and Democrats, which is culturally evident in the U.S., along with the war between conservatism and liberalism. Other nations around the globe view this dichotomy as a cultural phenomenon in America.
Being a liberal, conservative, or moderate reveals how we as individuals identify ourselves in society. In today's political arena, Democrats and Republicans also view their party affiliation in a fundamentally different way, too. My students like to bring up these ideological differences in my classes because it is not something they experience in Asia.
On a global scale, I like to explain to my students how Westerners and Asians see themselves in a fundamentally different way, too. I always understood that we Americans view ourselves as being individualistic, independent, and analytical; it’s due to our cultural history. The Asian cultures take a more holistic view of life, emphasizing interdependence, which I find intriguing.
When I was teaching in China, I conducted a word game each year for my Cultural Diversity students, in which they paired off to reveal their cultural views and their relationship with society.
For instance, if the words are train, bus, and tracks, an American with an individualistic mindset would pair train and bus since they belong to the same category (modes of transportation). In contrast, a Chinese person with a culturally holistic mindset is more likely to pair train with tracks since they share a functional relationship.
China’s history has shaped its cultural perceptions, and for thousands of years, working the land has fostered its interdependence with nature. People of Asia have a higher percentage of farmland devoted to rice paddies, and they think more holistically than your average American.
If you were to ask a Chinese person to draw a diagram of their social network, they would draw a circle emphasizing their friends and acquaintances. In contrast, most Americans would emphasize themselves over others due to our cultural perceptions and assumptions.
Unconsciously, Americans stress the importance of the self, and westerners will self-inflate their importance more so than those from Asian cultures. For the most part, people born in Asia won’t inflate their self-worth, but on average, people born in Western cultures do.
For thousands of years, growing rice was a labor-intensive crop in Asian countries, dependent upon a complex infrastructure of dikes and canals. This influenced or created a culture that recognizes human interdependence. Most Asians would also view the importance of society over their individual needs.
In contrast, our American history of the frontiersman, hunting, fishing, and growing simple crops have shaped our perception of independence and the rugged- individualistic mindset.
The relationship between people and land helped shape our cultural assumptions, which are then passed down from generation to generation. This is certainly true when it comes to the contrast between Western and Eastern cultures.
Our Western influence, however, is beginning to affect Asia and its perceptions of the West. It’s mostly due to the popularity of American films and Western music. I am witnessing, among my students and Chinese teenagers in general. They want to become like their counterparts in Western countries.
There are regions, mostly in China's large cities, whose populations share many basic assumptions with Westerners. Many others, though, are much closer in the mindset of people in other rice-cultivating countries such as Japan and Korea.
Cultural differences between the East and West, especially as China’s influence expands, will only continue to shape our relationship with the nation. Many foreign exchange students are also bringing Western ideals and customs back to China, hoping to bridge differences through growing cultural understanding.
A simpler way to understand our cultural differences is that Chinese society is all about the group, while Americans celebrate the individual. The United States is a meritocracy in which individuals can shine, whereas in China, any success is attributed to the company, family, or team. A Chinese person will consider how their actions may affect the group rather than looking out only for themselves.
One thing I noticed when I was living and working in China was that the hierarchy is important to the Chinese and respect will be shown to those higher up in the structure. American companies tend to have much flatter structures, with workers at all levels having access to those at the top. In China, a worker low down the pay scale would not expect to have direct contact with their superiors. Everybody knows their place in the structure and abides by the rules that come with it. The company will reward employees through profit-sharing when it does well; everyone reaps the benefits.
I found that conversations with my students often make Westerners feel intruded upon because, in China, conversations can feel directly personal to Americans. Even though Americans like to place people in the context of the common ground, small talk about age, income, and marital status, all of which are favored by the Chinese, can feel intrusive and overly personal to an American.
Having said this, Chinese visitors to the United States can find the language and tone used in American workplaces rude and uncomfortable. Thinking before you speak is important to the Chinese, as is showing respect for those higher in the hierarchy. Communication style is indirect, and Americans doing business with Chinese counterparts will need to learn to read between the lines.
Some of my students who traveled to the US as exchange students brought up the differences in how the elderly are treated there. China treats its seniors differently from us in the West. Elders are held in greater respect and treated as such, both in business and socially. Many families live with several generations under one roof. Even the dead are honored. Americans, on the other hand, expect their offspring to be independent. The older generation can live hundreds of miles away from their children, and the isolation of older adults is a social issue. The American workplace can seem ageist to older people, too, as youth culture is celebrated. On the opposite end of the spectrum, though, China has a mandatory retirement age that we westerners would find discriminatory, not to mention illegal in America.
Many Americans I have worked with over the years in China have brought up differences in how friendship is understood between American and Chinese coworkers. Chinese people are inclined to foster deeper friendships than we Americans are accustomed to. They may see Americans as initially gregarious but difficult to get to know on a deeper personal level. A friend in China is someone to whom you feel deeply obligated and for whom you will do favors when necessary. This translates into business, where the Chinese will try to forge relationships and connections, known as guanxi. Trust is essential before doing business. Colleagues tend to socialize together as part of relationship building, and business entertainment is lavish. Americans, on the other hand, tend to keep work and personal life separate. I have attended lavash parties with Chinese people, and they are a way of building trust and forging deeper relationships.
When I lived in China, I noticed that Chinese urban areas lacked personal space. Cities in China are densely populated and crowded, especially when it comes to public transportation. Americans are more accustomed to physical space and will become territorial if they feel crowded, snapping at people who push in line and staking out little kingdoms for themselves, whether it’s their car, desk, or airplane seat. That being said, many major cities in China are clean, especially when it comes to restaurants. The streets, subways, and public transportation in general are also much cleaner than those in many US cities, which China prides itself on. However, as everyone knows, air and water pollution are huge problems for all inhabitants on the Chinese mainland.
I, like most people, see the ability to express oneself and to access information as a basic human right. When I was living in China, I noticed how heavily censored the media is, especially on the internet. Social media networks that Americans take for granted, such as Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook, are not accessible in China, and many Western newspapers are also blocked there. You must apply for a license to use a VPN Router that gives you access to everything that the Chinese government has censored. Getting a VPN was the first thing I did when I arrived there. In Chinese companies, information is shared on a need-to-know basis, rarely filtering down from the top, whereas American corporate culture is much more open, with considerable effort to embrace transparency.
I am completely open and honest with my students when I tell them that I find Chinese people to be much more polite than Westerners. Unlike Americans, Chinese people will avoid confrontation wherever possible to save face. Shouting at someone causes both parties to lose face, and if a reputation is lost in business, that relationship can be permanently damaged. As such, Chinese executives will often avoid giving a straight answer to save the other person embarrassment. Americans, who tend to be very direct and literal, can find this confusing and frustrating. The worst thing you can do in negotiations with Chinese colleagues is to go out of your way to prove a point, regardless of the effect it has on others. But for Americans, the end result is more important than reputation or even relationships.
One aspect that is most apparent between our two cultures is that humility is revered in China and people tend to downplay their achievements. America is almost the exact opposite; in a meritocracy, you need to make the most of yourself and let people know about your successes. The Chinese can see this as crass and boastful, while in the United States, humility can be regarded as a sign of weakness. I found that in the teaching profession, especially when I was teaching in China, it is best to let others recognize your abilities while you downplay your accomplishments. Westerners who boast about their accomplishments rarely succeed in their profession in China.
The way business is conducted in China can at times lead to frustration for Westerners. I find that patience can take you quite far, especially in business dealings. Business in the United States moves at a different pace from China. Americans prioritize speed and efficiency and tend to hurry to get things done. Time is money, and people are expected to turn up on time for meetings and to meet deadlines.
The Chinese, on the other hand, can be slow decision-makers, preferring to build consensus and foster relationships before plunging into anything. Deadlines may only be met when the time is right, and the project is considered complete. Americans can find this attitude toward punctuality frustrating and time-wasting, while in negotiations, the Chinese will take advantage of Americans' need for speed, playing a waiting game to secure a better deal for themselves. Some in the West would consider the Chinese way of doing business as quite deceptive, but to them, it is business as usual, and it would be wise to read between the lines before committing yourself contractually.
I like to tell my online students that I no longer view China as a developing nation because my experiences teaching there have given me a unique perspective: China is now a developed country on par with America. It has the second-largest domestic economy in the world and has overtaken the US in terms of its immense infrastructure.
I always do my best to help my online University students understand the importance of gaining a clearer understanding of the American way of life and the cultural differences between our two nations. China’s rising power and influence in the world make that understanding a necessity not just for China but for America’s economic well-being.
June 2026
I have two jobs now: one as a Forensic Case Manager in Mental Health in Harrisburg, PA, and another as an online University Instructor, teaching an accredited Cultural Diversity course to Asian students. That being said, my semesters go by very quickly, and
all my classes take on a personality of their own due to the students, and every class becomes uniquely different. My students are always quite curious but somewhat reserved when they first appear in my online classroom, but within a few weeks, they open up
and are full of questions. They each hold various opinions about everything under the sun. I enjoy the lively discussions about culture in general and the role language plays in our cultural development.
When I was teaching High School in China, I used to tell my students that when foreigners like me enter a foreign land where English is not the native vernacular, a part of us seems somewhat cut off, and I mean that literally. This is especially true in China,
where the Chinese do not use a written alphabet; they use symbols that date back thousands of years. Long before us, Schuylkill County coal cracker folk in Northeastern Pennsylvania walked the earth.
We take our native language for granted each time we turn on the radio or the TV. When we go out to see a movie or watch a live performance in a theater, part of the enjoyment comes from our language.
I told my students at the beginning of each semester, “When I first arrived in your country. I was an illiterate immigrant because I could not speak or read your language. I still have difficulties," I told them, "but I have learned enough Chinese to overcome
some of the language barriers.”
When I first arrived in China, my students would ask me, "How do you get around the city, not being able to speak Chinese fluently?" I would explain to them some technological tricks I used to communicate with the locals in Suzhou.
“I use the Google translator on my Blackberry Cell phone,” I would tell them, “but sometimes I still stumble because Suzhou people have their native dialect and simplified Chinese doesn’t always cut it.”
Eighteen years ago, I told my students a story about a frustrating experience I had at a China Mobile office. “No one at that office could speak a word of English,” I told them. “I got so frustrated that I called a China Unicom customer service number that
has an English support line. I politely asked the woman on the phone to please translate for me. The woman I was speaking with was 2,900 kilometers away in Beijing, China.”
When the students stopped laughing, I continued the story.
“What made the situation even more amusing, China Unicom, as you all know, is China Mobile’s major competitor. I politely told the woman on the phone what I needed from China Mobile. What I needed was China Mobile’s office address in Chinese. So that the next
time I needed to put money on my phone, I could just show the taxi driver the Chinese address. That would be the most simplified way of getting there. I talked slowly to the China Unicom English customer service woman. Then I handed my phone to the woman sitting
in front of me at the China Mobile office. The woman doing the translating was quite helpful but somewhat confused as to why I was asking her to translate for me; I was, after all, in Suzhou, China, in a China Mobile office of all places.”
The students laughed at that story and various other stories about my inability to communicate in Chinese.
A hand shot up, “Teacher,” a female student asked, “Why don’t you take the time to learn Chinese?”
“I realize now,” I said to her, “I need a tutor to help me with my language impediment.”
“I don’t see why you don’t learn Chinese,” Donna, my prized student, said to me.
“The number one cause of failure in life is procrastination,” I said to the class, “I need to stop procrastinating and take the time to study Chinese, especially when I consider the fact that I want to remain living here.”
On my last day of teaching for that school year back in 2010, Donna came up to me after class, “Mr. Tom,” she said, “you are the fattest teacher I've ever had and the funniest person I’ve ever known. I’m going to miss you very much.”
I said to her, “You have such a bright future because your personality shines.”
She was truly my prized student for that year. Her term paper was written on the cultural differences between the Pennsylvania Coal Region and the Jiangsu Province in China. Every evening she read various Newspapers, the Standard-Speaker, the Republican Herald,
and the News Item online - Newspapers that cover the Pennsylvania Coal Region.
One day, she came up to me before class, all frustrated with printed pages of online blog comments. “I don’t understand,” she said to me, on the verge of tears.
“What don’t you understand?” I asked.
“The comments,” she said in a flustered voice.
“I hope this didn’t keep you up all night,” I said with some amusement in my voice.
I then read over some of the highlighted comments. I could not help but laugh, not at her but at the comments.
“See,” she said in an upset voice, “you understand them.”
“Those comments don’t make any sense to you because they are not proper English,” I said to her.
I pointed out to her the atrocious spelling, the bad grammar, the run-on sentences, and, not to mention, the lack of cohesive thought in most of the comments.
“Ignore the comments you don’t understand,” I said to her, “and use the comments you do understand.”
Most of my students have mastered formal English, and they try extremely hard to learn English slang and American Idioms. They enjoy watching American and British movies and television programs; they love our Western culture.
Donna said to me, in the first week of class, “Mr. Tom, you don’t have a typical American accent.”
“I know,” I said, “I have a typical coal cracker accent.” I then went on to explain the Pennsylvania Coal Region to the class. Donna later told me that was the reason she chose to do her term paper on that area of the world. She said my manner of speech got
her interested in the area.
Her term paper was extremely well-written. She was blunt about the coal region’s attitude toward illegal immigration. She compared the negative online comments about illegal immigration to the Chinese government’s attitude toward North Korean defectors.
China, before the Beijing Olympics (2008), gave North Koreans asylum in China. North Korea, however, made an issue of it, and China did not want the issue raised during the 2008 Olympics. All the North Korean defectors that were caught were deported along with
their family members. They were sent back to their home country to face years of hard labor.
Some North Koreans are lucky enough to make it across the Chinese border undetected. They then cross over into Laos, and they pay people to transport them into Vietnam in riverboats. They then cross the ocean in barges to seek asylum in South Korea. This is
a long and treacherous journey for many North Koreans seeking a better existence. They choose to make the journey with an undeterred determination so that their children can have better lives and better opportunities in South Korea ….. “Many Latin American
immigrants cross over into America with similar dreams for their children,” Donna wrote in her paper.
I received a text message from Donna 11 years ago via the internet. She had been awarded a scholarship to Princeton University for graduate studies in International affairs. She said jokingly that my class prepared her for Princeton University’s way of talking.
No words could ever express the feeling that came over me when I heard an audio message from her that said, “Thank you, Mr. Tom, for being our teacher.”
My Chinese has improved a great deal over the past 18 years, and technological advancements have also made my life a little easier. Especially with the advancements of WeChat, Google, and the internet in general.
Always with love,
Thomas F O'Neill
Email: introspective7@hotmail.com
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