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By Pauline Evanosky
Never Look Back - July, 2026
Regret is a sorry state of affairs. Sure, you could have turned left 27 years ago, and life might have been different for you, but if you keep looking back to that moment that happened so long ago, you’re not moving forward, are you?
It’s how people get stuck in ruts. Being stuck in a rut is not a fun place to be. You know why? Because you don’t always realize you’re in a rut until something happens to cause you to realize it.
It’s like catching a glimpse of yourself in a mirror and realizing that you’re going gray. Were you to count them, you’d have about 50 gray hairs on your head. How come nobody said anything? It’s because it was a gradual thing. Upon realizing this, you either buy some hair dye (doing it at the hairdresser's will set you back a good $120. Ask me how I know.) or you could buy a hat. There is no way you can stop being gray, unless, of course, you start shaving your head. Barring that drastic turn of events, you might eventually just decide to live with your gray hair. By the time you notice it again, there are just too many hairs to count. There’s nothing worse than regretting the days of your youth. I should know, I’m 70 years old, and that gray hair of mine? It’s starting to turn white in places.
It's like being depressed. If you’re depressed, either get some therapy, because I’d say you need a tune-up, or get a prescription from your doctor. Not the best idea in the world, but then, everybody is different, and sometimes conditions can only be treated that way. What I do is write. It’s helped me for many years. The other thing you could do if you find yourself stalled is learn to move forward in life.
How do you do that?
Well, one thing you could do is learn to practice patience. By the way, none of this is something that is either automatic or a fix-all. You are a continuous work in progress, and learning patience takes many years. A hint would be to start being patient with yourself. Then, as you do that, you can move out and be patient with senior drivers, with people who rush through grocery stores, with people who are idiots (I’m still working on that one). There is no solution out there that can promise that if you do everything they recommend, you will be patient in six months. It just doesn’t work that way.
I remember the time when I realized I was learning how to be patient. I was at the grocery store. The place was crowded with customers, and somehow, they all ended up wanting to check out at the same time. There was only one cashier on duty. She looked to be new and was having some sort of problem. I could tell she was frightened and trying not to panic. Like a bunch of piranhas scenting blood, a few people in line began to grumble. Then, more chimed in. It really was like observing a piranha feeding frenzy. It was also contagious because, as the seconds ticked by, more and more shoppers started grumbling and complaining. I realized I was not concerned either about the wait or about the people in the store. I could only think I was being patient.
Is that the only thing you can work on? No. I’d recommend that you work on all sorts of things all at the same time. Which do you choose first? I’d say the one that is most irritating to you, the one that makes you sad, the one you can’t ignore. Accepting people who act like idiots is always a good choice.
Remember, you cannot change anyone else in the world, but you can change yourself. So, get started.
What if you say you are happy being you just the way you are? Let me ask you: did you ever have a dream years ago to do something, and then give it up?
What if you wanted to be a ballerina and you stopped because somebody told you that you weren’t tall enough or your neck wasn’t long enough? Phooey on that. Be as involved in being a ballerina as you can be. Eventually, physically, I’d say you’d have trouble performing as a ballerina, but you could always promote the idea. You could teach a class. You could tutor somebody. You could write a book. You could have a YouTube channel and just talk about it. There are others interested in the same way you are who would be interested in what you have to say.
I’ve always operated on the premise that the people who want to listen to me will find me. And that one, folks, does take patience.
So, you don’t have to give up dreams. You only have to adjust them somewhat.
Learn something new. Learn a new language. Learn a few exercises to keep you fit and your muscles strong. Take a walk.
Learn how to draw. Draw small things. You don’t need to draw a three-foot-tall portrait or a landscape until you’re ready for something like that. Draw balls. Draw rectangles. Put shadows in the pictures. Start drawing puppies, cats, or birds. Draw fruit and vegetables. Find a photograph, or take your own, and copy it. Draw it.
Be your own cruise director. Find some things to do that appeal to you.
The thing is that whatever you learn with any of those hobbies or pastimes is going to affect everything you do.
You wonder how drawing will help you work in an office. Well, for one thing, drawing will have taught you what is spatially pleasing to the eye.
If people complain about there not being enough room in the office, you might help with that. That people are always running into each other and creating bottlenecks, even though you are not specifically trained in workspace design, you could take a pretty good stab at it and redecorate your office, improving the quality of workdays for everyone. Hint: get something to heat water or make coffee. Get some plants in to help lift spirits.
You could even establish a quick five-minute workout for everyone to do at their desks. Signal workout routines, or meditative breaks, by ringing a bell. Everyone would hear the bell and know that in a few minutes, a break would happen. That way, they could wind up a phone call or even finish an email. Or, instead of taking a break at their desks, you could gather out on the lawn or in a break room, and others who do not want to participate can continue working at their desks.
Learn a little Feng Shui, for instance, when you walk in a door, the money corner is the farthest left-hand corner of the room. If it is a dismal corner, that’s where you can put a plant. Or, putting a mirror at eye level on the wall behind a stove is a sure-fire way to cook better meals. I mean, if the cook can see you coming up behind them, they aren’t going to be startled. We wouldn’t want to frighten the cook and ruin the night’s meal.
Thanks for reading. I know I wasn’t entirely concentrated on the WooWoo this month, but it did speak to something near and dear to my heart. How to help people be happier.
Love,
Pauline
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